[Skit]
NARRATOR: In the hills high above Surf City, in the basement of the old brownstone Bel-Air mansion with a second mortgage, lurk two enemies of our country! Unsuspected by anyone, even Captain Jan and Dean, the Boy Blunder... especially Dean, the Boy Blunder--

DEAN: Especially!

NARRATOR: Treachery! It's that evil Cong doctor Dr. Vit-a-Min and his wretched little wife and assistant Hi-Po, where at this wretched moment, plotting the villainous deeds against us all!

DR. VIT-A-MIN: Ha, song! With this dandy little germ in the water supply of Surf City, we shall destroy these war-mongering imperialists once and for all!

HI-PO: Yes, most honorable husband and doctor.

NARRATOR: Oh, what a diseased mind, that fevered fiend! At this very moment, our heroes are performing in concert at Chicago's McCormick Place.

[Audience screams]

ANNOUNCER: Don't worry, fans! They'll be back in just a while!

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, backstage...

DEAN: Aw, holy Fig Newton! My transistorized chocolate chip cookie--

NARRATOR: Copyright 1966 Don Altfield Cookie Company.

DEAN: Altfeld! (continues) Is lighting up!

LITTLE OLD LADY: Hi, honeys! Boys, we need you back in Surf City. We need you, and we need you now!
JAN & DEAN (singing): It's the Little Old Lady from Pasadena...

NARRATOR: Suddenly, the youthful singers Jan and Dean assume the roles of Captain Jan and Dean, the Boy Blunder, and by instant distance metal powers transport themselves back to Surf City. Copyright 1966 Fred Weider (pronounced wee-der) Metal Powers, Inc.

DEAN: Weider! (why-der)

NARRATOR: Make up your mind.

DEAN: Sorry.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at Police Chief Barker's office...

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: Duh, the man, that demon of dispensary, Dr. Vit-a-Min, and his wretched wife, Hi-Po are planning some diseased demonry. Do you have any ideas, deputies? Hello?

(Children in CHIEF BARKER's office begin talking over each other.)

CHILD #1: Shoot him!

CHILD #2: Give him a bloody nose!

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: I don't know what to do.

CHILD #3: I wish too someone was here.

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: I wish they were here too, cause they could solve it, couldn't they?
CHILDREN: Yeah!

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: Yeah, they--

CHILD #4: I wish The Beach Boys were here.

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: Oh. The-the who?

CHILDREN: The Beach Boys!

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: They don't know anything.

(The children begin talking over each other again.)

CHILDREN: I know I wish that-- Jan & Dean. Jan & Dean. I wish The Beach Boys--

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: Well, I don't know who--

(The children continue talking over each other.)

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: Well, I wish they were here.

NARRATOR: As if as in answer to his wish, the perilous partners enter Chief Barker's office!

POLICE CHIEF BARKER: Duh, Captain Jan! That toxic tyrant Dr. duh-Vit-a-Min sent his recording to my office just moments ago. Duh.
DR. VIT-A-MIN (on tape): Ha, song! Take some friendly advice from your doctor. Drink one glass of water before bedtime and your troubles will be gone forever! (speaking mock-Vietnamese)

DEAN: Holy H2O! What can he mean, Captain Jan?

CAPTAIN JAN: It's simple, good fellow! Our afflicted adversary is planning to poison Surf City's water supply.

DR. VIT-A-MIN: (speaking mock-Vietnamese)

CAPTAIN JAN: To our atom-powered woodie!

DEAN: Who, me? Who's driving?

CAPTAIN JAN: As captain here, I must take command and drive, Fink.

DEAN: Mm!

NARRATOR: Shortly, our crusading companions screech up in front of the Surf City reservoir!

DEAN: Holy screech and skid!

NARRATOR: Wait a minute! Something has gone awry. Our heroes have managed to screech... into the reservoir!

DEAN: You're stepping on my foot again!

NARRATOR: Will the amazing allies escape their wet entrapment? Will they be able to stop that anti-septic devil Dr. Vit-a-Min from carrying out his insidious plot?

(DR. VIT-A-MIN starts chattering in mock-Vietnamese, and continues until fade-out.)

NARRATOR: Close your breath... till the next episode!