[Verse 1]
Someone said there was a time when it costed a quarter
Maybe it still should sorta, instill some kind of order
'Cause it's been weeks now since I put my balls to any water
Trash hoarder style, mildly, I'm caught up in the slaughter
Fuck Judy and her fat booty, Call of Duty hooked me
I beat the game and ain't cheat once, in just three months, it took me
Eyes open wide, they thought I died, at the TV, they shook me
Mom cooked for me, took a look, mistook me for a Wookie
I stayed and put the poop and pee and snot, whatnot
In jars and screwed the top tight
Go through a lot, it's not right, in sight
Last night, Mom learned it wasn't right to fuckin' interrupt me
She ran back upstairs, I took a butterknife, punctured her butt cheek
My life is the monitor, my body's the remote
Do I leave this chair? Nope, don't own a pair of shoes or coat
I go through thousands of friends, they all live in my headset
Reset, how many lives do I get? Am I dead yet?

[Chorus]
"You put your mother so far in debt, she had to sell your grandmother's jewelry"
Start the fuckin' game
"You have zero pigmentation in your skin, when's the last time you got some sunlight?"
Let's get a game goin'
"You can be heard cursing all the way down the block, those are elementary students you're arguing with"
Put a fuckin' game in
"Don't you have any desire at all to at least fuck some pussy once in your life?"
Who wanna game?
[Verse 2]
Another year, another day spent in mama's basement
So much hair, don't know where my face went, and mama pays rent
Damn, wasted, aced it, erase and chase it
So close, I can taste it, fuck out of my face, kid
Windows, spray-painted red, chair, blew the fuck back
Button tappin', nothin' happened, damn, I'm fuckin' nappin'
Kill the captain, chill or zap him, trap him and slap him
Eight twenty-three or three to noon, so I ain't leavin' soon
Tell the bitch eat a dick, talkin' shit in my earhole
He fuckin' called me fat, though, how the fuck he know?
Is it some kind of camera on me, is this so?
'Cause I was jackin' off only minutes ago
For me it's nothin' to tell a 9-year-old fuck off fast
And if he was standing right here, I'd choke his ass
A warrior on the screen, but don't pull my plug
Or you'll find me stuck in my chair, a worthless slug

[Chorus]
"How is that chair even comfortable? It looks like it was crushed by a monster truck"
Start the fuckin' game
"Oh my, Jesus Christ, what the hell is in all them nasty jars?"
Let's get a game goin'
"Half the fuckin' yard outside is full of pizza boxes, the city trash wouldn't take 'em any more"
Put a fuckin' game in
"Look at your fuckin' toenails, they look like prehistoric elephant tusks"
Who wanna game?
[Verse 3]
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, only three fingers left working
But still enough for me to claim I'm an expert in my profession
And my profession is fictional
I don't get paid, I earn lives in digital
I ain't been out in four years, doubt I'd fit up the stairs
Dreadlocks grown out of my nose, I've grown out my clothes
I'm naked, rockin' a blanket, my cock I spank, my cocker spaniel
I smothered wide under my thunder thighs
Hope I ain't do it too much pain, I'm too into my game
Can't wait to see my girl again, next time I'm playin' Sims
I'm aloof, not a total goof, I got time
Truth, I'm only 34, Mom, what's the hurry for?
I had a cat a while back, don't understand it though
It must've died, thought I smelled a dead animal
Big scary world out there, cold, inside, I'm tight
And every game I download is a brand new life

[Chorus]
"All your teeth are gone, what is that you got left there, what is that, three?"
Start the fuckin' game
"Have you even actually ever met any of these so-called best friends that you game with?"
Let's get a game goin'
"They could very well condemn this house based on the conditions of the basement alone"
Put a fuckin' game in
"What if you had a heart attack and died down here, it'd be weeks before anybody even realized you were gone"
Who wanna game?
[Outro]
Start the fuckin' game
Let's get a game goin'
Put a fuckin' game in
Who wanna game?
Fuck, man, it's so hot
Well, we're in the pit of Hell, hah
Man, you seem like such a... What?
Sucha cool dude, man
Ah thanks
Why the fuck are you down here?
I can chalk that up to one night, hah
What happened?
Me and my girl, we used to hang out and get drunk in this old cemetery
And I'm fuckin' around and here's one those little mausoleum buildings that people are buried in
And I'm fuckin' with the door and it opens
So I go in there and it slams shut behind me and I'm lookin' at all this shit this guy's buried with
One thing was this old bottle, it just said 'Red Rum' on it
And there was actually some still in there, you know?
And the girl I'm with's kind of a dog-faced gremlin so I thought hell, maybe a swig of this and she'll be a little hotter, hahaha
So I pull the cork off it and holy shit, what an odor
But you know what? I fuckin' slammed it
And aw man, my head started spinnin'
I got this rush and, next thing I knew, I said