[Intro]
"Hello, phone sex, I'm hot and horny"
Wicked crimes, wicked times
Wicked crimes, wicked times
Wicked crimes, wicked times
Wicked crimes, wicked times

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Drank my last drop of dead body stew
Paint my face, creep up and say "Boo!"
Nobody knows what I'm about
Walk around town with my guts hanging out
Chewing on toes, fuckin' dead hoes
Bark at the moon every time the wind blows
Why do I do the things that I do?
Who are you? Fuck you, and fuck Jerry Lou too
Fucked your mother at the Motel 8
Fingers in her booty, strawberry shake
Daddy walks in and see the sick clown
Movin' his butt-cheeks up and down
Nate the Mack and Jumpsteady
Rude Boy, Regis, Kathy Lee
I make rap rhymes and make quick bucks
And everybody sucks my nuts, shucks
Fuck Jazzy Jeff, fuck Jack Jones
Fuck Jazzy Jack Jeff Jimmy Jack bones
Why do we do the things that we do?
Who the motherfuck asked you? Uh!
[Chorus]
Why do we do the things that we do?
(What the fuck have you been doing?)
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue
Why do we do the things that we do?
(What the fuck have you been doing?)
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do
Why do we do the things that we do?
(What the fuck have you been doing?)
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue
Why do we do the things that we do?
(What the fuck have you been doing?)
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do

[Verse 2: Violent J]
Never had life, always been dead
Gotta metal plate in the back of my head
Lemon drops, lick lollipops
I fuck redneck bitches at truck stops
Clown killers, much clown love
Found a body in the bathtub, (Mmm grub)
Fuck the police, fuck giving props
Fuck cop pork chop jiffy pop cops
Grew another head, and I had it lopped off
But we still cool, what's up? (What's up, dawg?)
Tock-ticky-tock I pack a pink Glock
My ding-a-ling swings when I run down the block
No, I don't sing in a rock band
"Gotta smoke, dude, what's up, man"
Fuck John Wayne, fuck Wayne Newton
Fuck Juice Newton, John hootinanny pootin
Why do we do the things that we do?
Now who the fuck asked you, bitch?
[Chorus]
Why do we do the things that we do?
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue (Why, you're terrible)
Why do we do the things that we do?
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do (Why, you're terrible)
Why do we do the things that we do?
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue (Why, you're terrible)
Why do we do the things that we do?
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do (Why, you're terrible)

[Outro]
Why do we do the things that we do?
(What the fuck have you been doing?)
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue (Why, you're terrible)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(What the fuck have you been doing?)
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do (Why, you're terrible)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Roses ain't red and violet's ain't blue
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Roses ain't red, violet's ain't blue
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Why do we do the things that we do?
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Wicked rhyme, wicked times, you do
(Wicked crimes, wicked times)
Why do we do the things that we do?