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Ben Folds
Ass Crack Bandit (Episode Version)

It said quarter to five
But it was quarter to ass
You thought your plumbing was safe
But your jeans were half mast
Another coin down the drain
Now that's some change that won't last
25 cents at a time
He's taking our souls
Government man can't help
We're all alone
Are you feeling the breeze?
Did you pull your belt tight?
You know that it's wrong
You know that it's right
Out of the shadows
Down the coin goes
Why, oh why do you suppose?
(Only the Bandit knows)
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Bandit
(Woah-oh-oh-oh-woah-oh-oh-oh-oh)
A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K Can't stand it