You're wearing your squeaky shoes
And right there taking a snooze
Is a tiger, so how do you walk on by?

Silently, silently, silent... L-Y

You're a secret agent man
Who's after the secret plan
How do you act so they don't know you're a spy?

Normally, normally, normal... L-Y

You're an Oscar nominee
But the winner's your enemy
How do you clap when they receive their prize?

Begrudgingly, begrudgingly, begrudging... L-Y

You want to write a letter
Whilst knitting your mom a sweater
How do you manage both at the same time?

Ambidextrously, ambidextrously, ambidextrous... L-Y

At an eating contest you boast
That you can eat the most
How do you down your fiftieth piece of pie?
Eagerly, eagerly, eager... L-Y

You're in a wacky race
And you want to win first place
How do you act as you and your dog drive by?

Dastardly, dastardly, dastard... L-Y

Your dad's been dealing drugs
And you want to tell the fuzz
How do you tip them off without his crime?

Anonymously, anonymously, anonymous... L-Y

As you walk along the street
A porcupine you meet
How do you shake his hand when he says "hi"?

Carefully, carefully, careful... L-Y

You're addicted to crystal meth
And without it you're a mess
How do you act when you're out of your supply?

Violently, violently, violent... L-Y
If you are on the payroll
Of the daily mail
How do you type each article you write?

Racistly, racistly, racist... L-Y

In the public library
You fall and hurt your knee
But the sign says "quiet please", so how do you cry?

Quietly, quietly, quiet... L-Y

You're scared to pilot your plane
So you drink loads of champagne
How do your passengers act before you fly?

Nervously, nervously, nervous... L-Y

You just finished having sex
But you look a bit upset
How did it end that makes you want to cry?

Prematurely, prematurely, premature-
Um, sorry, normally it's a bit longer than that
Don't know what happened there