Tom Lehrer
The Hunting Song
I always will remember
T'was a year ago November
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow
Two game wardens, seven hunters and a cow
I was in no mood to trifle
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey, what a haul I made that day
I tied them to the roof rack
And I drove them home somehow
Two game wardens, seven hunters and a cow
The law was very firm
It-
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I ever endured
It turned out there was a reason
Cows were out of season
And one of the hunters wasn't insured
People ask me how I do it
And I say:
"There's nothing to it
You just stand there looking cute
And when something moves, you shoot"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
Two game wardens, seven hunters and a cow"
Yes, the law was very firm
It-
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I ever endured
It turned out there was a reason
Cows are out of season
And the hunting ban was passed by the Lords
People ask me how I do it
And I say:
"There's nothing to it
You just stand there looking cute
And when something moves, you shoot"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now
Two game wardens, seven hunters and a pure-bred Guernsey cow