[Intro]
Go slow, g-go slow (Porn)
Go slow, g-go slow (Porn)
Go slow, g-go slow (Porn)
You got an awfully big cock! (Porn)

[Verse 1: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
Bitches get sprung when I walk by
I don't know if it's my ass, or maybe 'cause I talk fly
But no lie, as soon as I speak to 'em
They all want me to screw 'em
I introduce myself, and panties start fallin'
No dinner-dates, fuck stallin'
Your girl, his wife, it don't matter
They all want this dick, whole platter
It's dangerous for any chick on my arm
Other hoes wanna cause 'em bodily harm
Maybe 'cause I wear my jeans so tight
But they all fight for the right to fuck me all night
These hoes wanna get us, any time, any place
And have clown paint smudged all over their face
They steal my number, catch me on the internet
And tell me all how their nedens are drippin' wet
Bitches hang around my home like stray cats
Tryin' to catch a motherfucker shirtless
Could be my profile, or my haircut (what)
But I turn sweetie boos into sluts
I take it in in the butt is what the lady at the store said
Chick up at Walgreens offerin' head
I'm like "Whoa", and I'm gettin' free food up at Subway
Every bitch and her mama love J
[Chorus: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
I can't help but spring these hoes
And they all wanna fuck me (Woo!) They come to me!
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!)
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!) (Fuck these bitches!)
I can't help but spring these hoes
And they all wanna fuck me (Woo!) They come to me!
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!)
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!) (Fuck these bitches!)

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
Your old lady's got eyes for me
And I know when you're fuckin' her, she cries for me
Female judges sentence me to do time
I tell 'em all, make a singe-file dick-line
Ugly ducklings, and beautiful angels
They all dropping their thongs to they ankles
Maybe it's my cologne, RightGuard
I dunno, but for this dick, yo, they fight hard
Hoes love throwin' they panties at me
Poop-stains and all, my brain's in awe
Is it my swagger? Or is it my juice? Why?
They want a piece of this wang-nut pie
I could be itchin' my athlete's feet
And hoes be like "Awww, that's so sweet!"
And everything translates to sex
Bitches beggin' me to flex my pecs
Slipping me digits, turn around and goose me
Fighting off ten at a time like fuckin' Jet Li
Shit's ridiculous, I'm like "Slow down"
I got plenty of pipe to go around
Two are in the kitchen, three in the bathtub
I'm with somebody fat wife making mad love
Real women of the worldwide Juggalos
You can ask my bitch, yo mama knows!
[Chorus: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
I can't help but spring these hoes
And they all wanna fuck me (Woo!) They come to me!
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!)
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!) (Fuck these bitches!)
I can't help but spring these hoes
And they all wanna fuck me (Woo!) They come to me!
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!)
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!) (Fuck these bitches!)

[Bridge]
Oh, it's been so cocksucking long since I've
Oh, it's been so cocksucking long since I've
(Boing) Oh, it's been so cocksucking long since I've tasted a big prick like yours!
Oh, it's been so cocksucking long since I've
Oh, it's been so cocksucking long since I've
(Boing) Oh, it's been so cocksucking long since I've tasted a big prick like yours!

[Chorus: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
I can't help but spring these hoes
And they all wanna fuck me (Woo!) They come to me!
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!)
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!) (Fuck these bitches!)
I can't help but spring these hoes
And they all wanna fuck me (Woo!) They come to me!
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!)
And I'm quick to leave a bitch sprung! (Boing! Boing!) (Fuck these bitches!)
[Outro: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Man, fuck all these fucking sprung-ass hoes
Yo, this bitch ain't gettin' no dick
Ham ain't gettin' no dick! Fuck it!
Fuckin' racist Buddha ain't gettin' no dick!
Look, I don't give a fuck who the fuck you are!
Unless you're on my dick, you ain't gettin' none!
And fuck you too, bitch!

[Skit]
Louanne! Get me another beer!
I'm so sorry, Jack, but there ain't none left!
Come here, Louanne
What?
Closer
What?
COME HERE!
What? *Smack* *Baby cries*
What do you mean there's no goddamn beer left? Dammit, you been taking my beers or something, woman?
No, Jack! Honey, I swear it!
And shut that fucking kid up before he gets another whoopin'
*Phone rings*
Hello?
This message is for you, Mr Jack Brudman!
You've won a free all-expense-paid trip just for you!
You, Jack, are headed first-class to Ash, Nevada!
Ash, Nevada?
That's right, bitch!
Ash, Nevada!
You are one of the few lucky big winners chosen to see the Dark Carnival's gigantic super-show!
We can't give you all the details now, but we can tell you this:
When you return from seeing the greatest show on Earth
You'll be bringing home with you a check for one hundred thousand dollars!
Woohoo! I'm going to Ash, Nevada, bitch!