[Intro: Violent J]
The stalker!
Yeah! Ha!
The Stalker!
I'm gonna stalk this hoochie
I'm gonna stalk this hoochie

[Verse 1: Violent J]
So I'm pimpin this old piece of shit, right
There's this smoochie-poo at the stoplight
*Clearing throat* How's about a date?
Two tickets for the circus, pick you up at eight!
"Fuck no, you're a loser!"
Yeah, but I'll stick my boot up your ass!
Heh he, but I ain't naggin'
To the next light in my pink Volkswagen
Oh, excuse me, ho
But I'm Violent J, act like you know
"Violent J the country singer?" No!
Violent J the southwest Gangster-o!
And the bitch was gone (Aww)
So I followed her home (Huh)
'Cause I've got it going on (Ho!)
And I'm in the haugh (Yep)
Parked in a spot good enough to hawk her
Things you'd do if you's a stalker
[Interlude]
"So, what happened?"
"Well, I really don't like to talk about it
But he ruined my life
I mean, he was everywhere
Everywhere I went"
The Stalker!

[Chorus]
I think that this ho likes me, yeah!
(She tells you to fuck off with such class!)
I think that this ho likes me!
(Yeah, go on and get that ass!)

[Verse 2: Violent J]
Well the stalker stalk his target
Just happened to see her at the supermarket
Oh, hi, hey, that peanut butter sucks
You wouldn't like Jiffy it ain't got no nuts!
Why don't you try these?
She ran away scared and I'm staring at her butt cheeks
'Cause I know she love me
She want to tease and please and rub and dub me
"Hello?" "Hi, it's me!"
"Hello?" "You love me?"
"Hello?" "I love you!"
"Hello, hello?"
Biggity ba boom, I'm back in the stone brick house
Candle light dinner and some Mexican chow
Yo, I know she gonna show up
(Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick) No luck!
Peep through her windows, jack off in her back yard
"Somebody pulled a joker's card"
And you know a Joker caught ya
Things you do when you's a stalker
[Interlude]
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know
Because I know he'll be back
He always comes back
I'll never be able to live a normal life again!"
"It's okay"
The Stalker!

[Chorus]
I think that this ho likes me, yeah!
(She tells you to fuck off with such class!)
Said I think that this ho likes me!
(Yeah, go on and get that ass!)

[Interlude: Violent J]
I'm gonna stalk this hoochie
(Hoochie, coochie, poochie) (Yeah)
I'm gonna stalk this hoochie
(Smoochie, coochie, poochie)

[Verse 3: Violent J]
I've been hawking for about two weeks
And I ain't even got a fucking kiss on the cheek!
She's with some fuck face
I'ma put that college boy in a neck brace!
I gotta just chill
She loves me lots and that's for real!
That night, I snuck in her back do'
With a bucket of chicken and a bottle of Faygo
Tip toe, tip top creeping
Cos I know my baby's sleeping
Snuck to the bedroom, looked through
"Ahhhh!" She stuck me in the eye with a broom!
Shoowhup! Pulled it out
Popped my eye back in, I can't find her
Ran through the bedroom, ran through the living room
Ran for the bathroom, got to take a dune
Now I stress, pulling out my hair
I think I heard that bitch upstairs!
Up the steps, wicked clown
Then I hear a clicking sound
Honey, is that you?
How's about a kissy smoochie poo?
*Gunshots* Her daddy's gun to my nugget
Never liked the bitch anyway, fuck it!
[Interlude]
"So what'd you do?"
"I tried to run
But he was always right there
Just ahead of me
He would always catch me and...
Hurt me"

[Chorus]
I think that this ho likes me, yeah!
(She tells you to fuck off with such class!)
Said I think that this ho likes me!
(Yeah, go on and get that ass!)
[7x]

[Hook Interlude]
Nah, man
She don't like me man
Nah, nah she don't like me, man
That bitch shot me in the head, man
She shot me in the nugget, man
Nah, nah she don't like me, man, she don't like me, man
She shot me in the nugget, man
How's she gonna like me, man?
She shot me, dog
Nah, she don't like me, man
Stop it, man, she don't like me, man
No she don't!
Look at my head, man!
She shot me in the forehead, man!
How's she gonna like me, man?
This ho likes me!

[Outro:]
"I also like to blow holes in the heads of rednecks"
"Hi, this is Lori. I can't make it to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as you can. Thanks, bye"
"Hey, it's uh Dave. Um. Surprise. This is gonna be short and sweet, so just bare with me for a minute, okay. Uh, I know what I want. I mean, it's weird. I'm not confused at all. What was I gonna say? I, um. Never-" *beep*
"Ah, Anyway, you know that song everybody plays the fool? Or, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Um. That's what I'm doing. I'm playing the fool. I'm stupid, I'm I'm stupid crazy, I'm stupid crazy over you. Uh, Lori, I want you, I can't express, it's weird, so anyway, I was-" *beep*
"Ah, last time, ah, um, mm, um. Don't worry. I'm not gonna be bothering you. Although, I want to. Desperate, I know this going way, nnnng, words, they mean, I don't know. Um. I. I. Aye aye. Don't worry about it. Everything. Every little thing is gonna be alright. I'm not gonna bother you, although I, I'm in trouble, obviously." *beep*
"You ever want anything so bad you can taste it? Lori, I can taste you. I'm gonna go brush my teeth now."