[Verse 1]
I could make a dress, a robe fit for a prince
I could clothe a continent, but I can't sew a stitch
I can paint my face and stand very, very still
It's not very practical, but it still pays the bills
I can't change my name, but I could be your type
I can dance and win at games like backgammon and life

[Verse 2]
I used to be the smart one, sharp as a tack
Funny how that skipping years ahead has held me back
I used to be the bright one, top in my class
Funny what they give you when you just learn how to ask

[Verse 3]
I can write a song, but I can't sing in key
I can play piano, but I never learned to read
I can't trap a mouse, but I can pet a cat
No, I'm really serious! I'm really, very good at that
I can't fix a car, but I can fix a flat
I could fix a lot of things, but I'd rather not get into that

[Verse 4]
I used to be the bright one, smart as a whip
Funny how you slip so far when teachers don't keep track of it
I used to be the tight one, the perfect fit
Funny how those compliments can make you feel so full of it
[Verse 5]
I can shuffle, cut, and deal, but I can't draw a hand
I can't draw a lot of things, I hope you understand
I'm not exceptionally shy, but I've never had a man
That I could look straight in the eye and tell my secret plans
I can take a vow, and I can wear a ring
And I can make you promises, but they won't mean a thing

[Verse 6]
Can't you just do it for me? I'll pay you well
Fuck, I'll pay you anything if you could end this
Can't you just fix it for me? It's gone berserk
Oh fuck, I'll give you anything if you can make the damn thing work
Can't you just fix it for me? I'll pay you well
Oh, fuck, I'll pay you anything if you can end this hell

[Outro]
Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?
Hello, I'm good for nothing—will you love me just the same?
The same