Behold the way our fine-feathered friend
His virtue doth parade
Thou knowest not, my dim-witted friend
The picture Thou hast made
Thy vacant brow and thy tousled hair
Conceal Thy good intent
And you're noble, upright, truthful, sincere
And slightly dopey gent
And you're...

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
And when you open it to speak, are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, funny valentine, stay
Little valentine, stay
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is valentine's day