What's playing at the Roxy?
I'll tell you what's playing at the Roxy
A picture about a Minnesota man so in love
With a Mississippi girl that he sacrifices everything
And moves all the way to Biloxi
That's what's playing at the Roxy

What's in the Daily News?
I'll tell you what's in the Daily News
A story about a guy who bought his wife
A small ruby with what otherwise
Would have been his union dues
That's what's in the Daily News

What's happenin' all over?
I'll tell you what's happenin' all over
Guy sittin' home by a television set
Who once used to be somethin' of a rover
That's what's happenin' all over

Love is the thing that has licked 'em
And it looks like Nathan's just another victim
Yes, sir, when you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some doll

When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane
When you meet a gent payin' all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal
Call it sad, call it funny, but it's better than even money
That the guy's only doing it for some doll
When you see a Joe savin' half of his dough
You can bet they'll be mink-in' it for some doll

When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford
It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb of some little broad
When you meet a mug lately out of the jug
And he's still liftin' platinum fol-de-rol

Call it hell, call it heaven, it's a probable twelve to seven
That the guy's only doing it for some doll
When you see a sport and his cash has run short
Make a bet that he's bankin' it with some doll

When a guy wears tails with the front gleamin' white
Who the hell do you think he's ticklin' pink on Saturday night?
When a lazy slob takes a good steady job
And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol

Call it dumb, call it clever
Ah, but you can give odds forever
That the guy's only doing it for some doll
Some doll, some doll
The guy's only doing it for some doll