One day I sang an aria
That caused a hernia
It was a massive bulge
To the doctor I divulged
That I still had to play
Though it caused me massive pain
I won't throw in the towel
Just please hold in my bowels

I love my hernia belt
I love my hernia belt
It'll keep my guts inside me
Til the end of the show

I've got a little friend down there (not that one)
A different little friend down there
A better one you can't find
To hold in your intestines
A high fashion wrap
That hits beneath the belt
I don't cause a fuss
In velcro I do trust

I love my hernia belt
I love my hernia belt
It'll keep my guts inside me until
I have my surgery

What are they gonna shave
What are they gonna save
When they fix my hernia
Hope the doctor doesnt slip
When he cuts into my skin
I just want to piss in one direction!

Now I love my hernia repair
I love my hernia repair
It'll kep my guts inside me for the rest of my life