The holidays are over, you've gained twenty pounds
The cat's choking on tinsel, pine needles stalk the ground
There are no cards in the mailbox, just a stack of bills
Yes, the holidays are over and you are feeling ill

Have a happy Christmas hangover
It's the most miserable time of the year
The eggnog's made you fat, the party is over
'Cept for your wacky uncle who is still drinking your beer

Turkey's great on Christmas but after a whole month
Of turkey pie and stew you start to dread lunch
Breakfast is more frightening for all there is to eat
Is fourteen Christmas cakes and a bag of cranberries

Have a happy Christmas hangover
It's the most miserable time of the year
Your uncle's in the bathroom and granny's on the sofa
And you start to wish that they'd just disappear

You ate too many liquor-filled chocolates
Got no money left in your pockets
But at least you got lots of
Ugly sweaters and bow ties and socks

You're skin is pale and pasty, your energy is spent
Along with all the money you need to pay the rent
The children are all crying 'cuz they've broken all their toys
Is this misery worth one day of joy?

Have a happy Christmas hangover
It's the most miserable time of the year
Your uncle has passed out on granny on the sofa
And you start to wish that you could disappear