[Intro]
Umpa (stick it up your jumper)
Umpa (stick it up your jumper)
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la

A jumper or a jersey when we're shopping is preferred
For parcels you can't lick them, for up there you can stick them
It's quite become a fashion and a slogan we have heard
Last winter we were visiting, and this is what occurred

'Twas Christmas Day at the workhouse and you know how kind they are
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
The master said "I greet you all!"
The inmates answered "nah"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
The grub was drub, the meat was tough, the spuds had eyes like prongs
They said they were King Edwards but they looked more like King Kong's
The master said "this pud is good" and a pauper shouted "ah!"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la

[Verse 2]
When [?] gave his wife a little present she said "ah"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
She said "you know what you can do
With this ugly chocolate bar"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
You little worm, I'll make you squirm, and when it's time for bed
I'll talk, I will, to you until you wish that you were dead
And when you want to kiss me and call me your evening star
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
[Musical Break]

[Verse 3]
[?] Sheik of Araby and your wife, he said "nah"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
He said "she's fat and her face is like a mustard pickle jar"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
The sheik said "bring me a gay young thing, a ditzy blonde will do,"
"I'm eighty-five, she'll make me think I'm only twenty two"
"You brought me a fat old hen, when I wanted a hot mama"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la

[Verse 4]
The nut was in his baby car and doing the la-di-da
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
The girl said "what? Take me for a ride? No sir, you go too far!"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
"Oh dear, tut tut," said the saucy nut, "we won't go far, I'm sure"
The girl said "nix, I've heard those tricks, and I've walked home before"
"And Romeo, if you want to know where you can park your car"
Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
Tra-la!