I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning

And what was in the ships all three (Laughter)
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
And what - Shut up, turds!
- was in the ships all three
On Christmas Day in the morning

The Virgin Mary and Christ were there (Laughter)
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
The Virgin Mary and - Shut up, turds!
- Christ were there
On Christmas Day in the morning

Let us all rejoice amain
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day (Laughter Growing)
Let - I told you to shut up!
- us all rejoice amain
On Christmas Day in the morning

Shelly is starting to get pissed (Nonstop Laughter)
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
Shelly got up and killed the turds
On Christmas Day, in the morning
Arrrrrrrgh!