There is a man you'll hear about
Most every place you go
And his holdings are in Texas
And his name is Diamond Joe
And he carries all his money
In his diamond-studded jaw
And he never was much bothered
By the process of the law

Well, I hired to Diamond Joe, boys
I did offer him my hand
And he gave me a string of horses
So old they could not stand
Well I liked to die of hunger
'Cause he did mistreat me so
And I never earned one dollar
In the pay of Diamond Joe

Well his bread it was corn dodger
And his meat I could not chaw
And he drove me near distracted
With that waggin' of his jaw
While he tellin' of his story
And I mean to let you know
That there never was a rounder
That lied like Diamond Joe
Well, I tried three times to quit him
Boys, but he did argue so
That I still am punchin' cattle
In the pay of Diamond Joe
And when I'm called to heaven
Last thing before I go
Give my blankets to my buddies
And give the fleas to Diamond Joe