[Verse 1]
I'm sitting here waiting in the Tillamook County Jail
I'm hoping that she's not so mad now that she doesn't even pay my bail
If I was her I'm not so sure I wouldn't keep on moving down the trail
I'm sitting here waiting in the Tillamook County Jail

[Verse 2]
Got a lump on my head and a boot print on my chest
From what the guys in here call "the Tillamook County lie detector test"
Well I did my best but as you mighta guessed
It's a tough test not to fail
I'm sitting here waiting in the Tillamook County Jail

[Chorus]
One phone call, two Tylenol
Four cold gray walls closing in
If I ever do get out on that highway again
I ain't ever goin' back to Tillamook County
No I ain't ever goin' back to Tillamook County

[Verse 3]
It all started when I had a little trouble with a guy on a highway crew
And that lyin' son of a gun, he told 'em I done some things I didn't do
They came running for me down 101, lights flashing onto my tail
And now I'm sitting here waiting in the Tillamook County Jail
[Chorus]
One phone call, two Tylenol
Four cold gray walls closing in
If I ever do get out on this highway again
I ain't ever goin' back to Tillamook County
No I ain't ever goin' back to Tillamook County (nope)

[Verse 4]
I'm sitting here waiting in the Tillamook County Jail
And I'm still hoping that she's not so mad now that she doesn't even pay my bail
Coming down on vacation, gonna leave on probation
Have to send all my money through the mail
I'm gonna send all my money to the Tillamook County Jail
Yes, I'm a-gonna send all my money to the Tillamook County Jail
Hey, I'm a-gonna send all my money to the Tillamook County Jail