[Verse 1]
I'm being watched
By a duck
And with a little bit of luck
I can move away and never fear again
I saw his beak
He made a smirk
Then he dunked his head to lurk
And turned my blood to ice within my veins

[Pre-Chorus]
I would migrate north if you could guarantee
That there are no ducks in the Arctic sea
Their waddling gives me anxiety
Whenever they're following me

(Quack)

[Chorus]
I'm afraid of a duck
(With their creepy webbed feet)
I'm afraid of a duck
(And their razor sharp beak)
I'm afraid of duck
(They have beady black eyes)
I'm afraid of a duck
(And they're staring at me)
You dirty cloaca go back to your flock of
Paddling revolting floating freeloading poultry

Quack, quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack

[Verse 2]
Here they come
I think I'm marked
Every time I'm at the park
A miscreant comes to steal my bread
Drop your things and
Run for the car
'Cause if you don't make it that far
They'll feast upon your fallen corpse instead

[Pre-Chorus]
There is nothing more fowl than a drake on a lake
Staring me down until I finally break
A flap of their wings gives me a panic attack
And I don't have the strength to fight back

(Quack, quack)

[Chorus]
I'm afraid of a duck
(They would kill you for your bread)
I'm afraid of a duck
(Then eat your liver instead)
I'm afraid of a duck
(I wanna smash all their eggs)
I'm afraid of a duck
(Stop laughing at me)
You think that it's funny, just wait 'til they're coming
Don't you know birds of a feather murder together?

[Bridge]
He's watching me (They're after me)
He's watching me (They're after me)
He's watching me (They're after me)
He's watching me (He's....)

[Verse 3]
Shh
I'm afraid of that duck
I'm afraid of that other duck
I'm afraid of the flock
And all my friends think I should see a quack
But I'm not cool with that
Claiming ducks are all innocent, they're not
Little pieces of shit, they bit me when I was a kid
Ruined my fucking life
I could have been president, look at me now
I'm in this stupid band
I'm not crazy you see
Look, they hunt in a flying "V"
And it's pointed at me
My worst nightmare descends upon
Oh god, help me, oh, help me
Ah, ducks everywhere, shit, ah, ah
No, no, no, no
[Talking]
"What do you think, doc, do you think I'm crazy?
"Well, it sounds like you got a classic case of 'Anatidaephobia' which is a fear of being watched by ducks. I recommend that you go to the store buy many loaves of bread and feed the ducks. Feed all the ducks, feed the ducks
"That's your advice?"
"Feed them"
"Who gave you your degree?"
"I attended the university of quack
Where I got my masters in quack, I moved on to quack
Then..."
"No"
"Quack"
"No, no, no, no, not again, not again, ow, ow, ow, there is no God"