[Verse 1]
When I woke up this morning, things were looking bad
Seemed like total silence was the only friend I had
A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
And it was twelve o'clock before I realized that I was having no fun
Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus]
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No, I'm just trying to have me some fun

[Verse 2]
Last time I checked my bankroll, it was getting thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
Chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus]
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No, I'm just trying to have me some fun
[Verse 3]
Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
Trying to get away from all the ears inside my walls
I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?
Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman
Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus]
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No, I'm just trying to have me some fun

[Outro]
Well done
Hot dog bun
My sister's a nun