[LEROY]
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting 'em off my chest
To let 'em rest unexpressed
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar
But if this ditty is not so pretty

[HIRAM & LEROY]
At least it'll tell you how great you are

[HIRAM]
You're the top! Leroy
You're the Coliseum

[LEROY]
You're the top! Oh, baby
You're the Louvre Museum
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss!

[HIRAM]
You're a Bendel bonnet

[LEROY]
A Shakespeare's sonnet
You're Mickey Mouse! (hahahahaha!)
[HIRAM]
You're the Nile

[LEROY]
You're the Tower of Pisa

[HIRAM]
You're the smile

[LEROY]
On the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check

[HIRAM]
A total wreck

[HIRAM & LEROY]
A flop!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

[HIRAM]
You're the top, Leroy!

[LEROY]
You're Mahatma Gandhi, Hiram!
[HIRAM]
You're the top!

[LEROY]
You're Napoleon Brandy

[HIRAM & LEROY]
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain

[LEROY]
You're the National Gallery

[HIRAM]
You're Garbo's salary

[HIRAM & LEROY]
You're cellophane!

[HIRAM]
You're sublime

[LEROY]
You're a turkey dinner!

[HIRAM]
You're the time
[LEROY]
Of a Derby winner!
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop!

[HIRAM & LEROY]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!
You're the top!

[LEROY]
You're an arrow collar

[HIRAM]
Leroy, You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar

[HIRAM & LEROY]
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire

[LEROY]
You're an O'Neill drama

[HIRAM]
You're Whistler's mama!

[LEROY]
You're camembert

[HIRAM]
You're a rose
You're Inferno's Dante

[LEROY]
You're the nose
On the great Durante

[HIRAM]
I'm just in the way
As the French would say

[HIRAM & LEROY]
"De trop"!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top!

[LEROY]
You're a Waldorf salad

[HIRAM]
You're just the top!
You're a Berlin ballad

[LEROY]
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee

[HIRAM]
You're an old Dutch master

[LEROY]
You're Lady Astor

[HIRAM]
Baby, you're broccoli!

[LEROY]
You're romance
You're the steppes of Russia

[HIRAM]
You're the pants, (Purr), on a Roxy usher

[HIRAM & LEROY]
I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
But if, baby, I'm the bottom
You're the top