[Verse 1]
I just wanted to be one of The Strokes
Now look at the mess you made me make
Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase
Miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway
I'm a big name in deep space, ask your mates
But golden boy's in bad shape
I found out the hard way that
Here ain't no place for dolls like you and me
Everybody's on a barge
Floating down the endless stream of great TV
1984, 2019

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s
Rocket-ship grease down the cracks of my knuckles
Karate bandana, warp speed chic
Hair down to therе, impressive moustache
Lovе came in a bottle with a twist-off cap
Let's all have a swig and do a hot lap

[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The Martini Police
Baby, that isn't how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes
[Verse 2]
I just wanted to be one of those ghosts
You thought that you could forget
And then I haunt you via the rear view mirror
On a long drive from the back seat
But it's alright, 'cause you love me
And you recognise that it ain't how it should be
Your eyes are heavy and the weather's getting ugly
So pull over, I know the place
Don't you know an apparition is a cheap date?
What exactly is it you've been drinking these days?
Jukebox in the corner, "Long Hot Summer"
They got a film up on the wall and it's dark enough to dance
What do you mean you've never seen Blade Runner?

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Oh, maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s
Back down to earth with a lounge singer shimmer
Elevator down to my make-believe residency
From the honeymoon suite
Two shows a day, four nights a week
Easy money

[Chorus]
So who you gonna call?
The Martini Police
So who you gonna call?
The Martini Police
Oh, baby, that is not how they look tonight
It took the light absolutely forever to get to your eyes
[Outro]
And as we gaze skyward, ain't it dark early?
It's the star treatment
Yeah, it's the star treatment
Yeah, ooh, it's the star treatment
Yeah
It's the star
Treatment

[Spoken Outro]
Thank you very much
I've been, uh, almost threatened with my life during the intermission with regards to playing this next number
So, uh