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Stephen Sondheim
The Wedding Is Off

[JENNY]
Bless this day
Pinnacle of life
Husband joined to wife
The heart leaps up to behold
This golden day

[AMY]
The chapel is gleaming
The guests are inside
The parents are beaming
And look at the bride:
Beautiful gown, even at retail—
Lamp the veil, folks, notice the coif
And another fabulous detail:
The wedding is off!

[JENNY]
Bless this bride, totally insane

[AMY]
The choir is singing
The preacher's been paid
The bells go on ringing—
I hope it's a raid
Staggering gifts, dazzling flowers
Picturewise, the show is a boff—
Thanks a heap, now back to the showers
The wedding is off!
I know it's been rough, gang
To come all this way
Can't thank you enough, gang—
I wish I could stay
Look, if you enjoy public disaster
If you like to snicker and scoff
You can be sick forty times faster:
Go to a funeral, a funeral's groovy
Sit through an Antonioni movie
Dip into National Geographic
Watch a pedestrian killed in traffic
But, sorry, folks—
This wedding is off!

[JENNY]
Bless this day
Tragedy of life
Husband yoked to wife
The heart sinks down
And feels dead
This dreadful day