[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
My name is Stephen Joshua Sondheim
The Stephen and the Joshua come from the Bible
My parents were not religious
But they didn't know what to call me
So they merely stuck their finger in the Bible
And came out with those two names
In fact I was called Josh until I was ten years old

My father, Herbert Sondheim, was a self-taught piano player
He couldn't read music
But he liked to pick out Broadway tunes on the piano
And I used to sit next to him when I was very small
And he would put my hand on his, his little finger
Which played the melody up at the top of the piano
And so that was my first experience playing piano

I took piano lessons for two years when I was seven years old
And, uh, then I took another two years when I was fourteen
And that's my piano playing experience

The first show I wrote, I was in prep school
A place called George School in Pennsylvania
And I wrote a show that was about sort of local happenings
Yh, in the school
And I think the first song I wrote was called "I'll Meet You at the Donut"
The donut was a round seat in the center of the main hall
[SINGER]
I'll meet you at the donut
And—

[STEPHEN SONDHEIM, spoken]
But that's enough of that song
I don't want to embarrass myself any further
Instead of going on with the songs from By George
Uh, let's skip around

The first show that I did both music and lyrics for that got on Broadway
Was a show called A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum