[THE OBSERVER, spoken]
"Why aren't you married?"

[THE OBSERVER]
Doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo

I could drive a person crazy
I could drive a person mad
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo
First I make a person hazy
So a person could be had
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo

Then I leave a person dangling sadly
Outside my door
Which it only makes a person gladly
Want me even more

You could understand a person
If it's not a person's bag
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo
You could understand a person
If a person was a drag
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo
Boo-boo-boo-boo
Worse than that
A person that
Titillates a person and then leaves her flat
Is crazy
I'm a troubled person
I'm a truly crazy person
Myself!

[THE HUSBAND, spoken]
Thank you
That's fine
Have a seat
Thanks a lot

[THE OBSERVER]
When a person's personality is personable
He shouldn't oughta sit like a lump
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get me off of my rump
So single and attentive and attractive a man
I'm everything a person could wish
But turning off a person is the act of a man
Who likes to pull the hooks out of fish

Knock, knock, is anybody there?
Knock, knock, it really isn't fair
Knock, knock, I'm working all my charms
Knock, knock, a zombie's in your arms
All this sweet affection
What is wrong?
Where's my loose connection?
How long, oh Lord, how long?
Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy

I could drive a person buggy
I could blow a person's cool
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo
First I make a person feel all huggy
Then I make her feel a fool
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo

When a person says that I've upset her
That's when I'm good
I impersonate a person better
Than a zombie should

You could understand a person
If I wasn't good in bed
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo
You could understand a person
If I actually was dead
Doo-doo-doo-doo

Exclusive me
Elusive me
Will any person ever get the juice of me?
I'm crazy
I'm a lovely person
I'm a moving, deeply maladjusted
Never to be trusted
Crazy person
Myself!

[THE WIFE, spoken]
Absolutely

[THE YOUNGER WOMAN, spoken]
I agree

[THE HUSBAND, spoken]
You win, we give up

[THE OBSERVER]
Yeah!