[PSEUDOLUS]
Lovers divided
Get co-incided
Something for everyone

[HERO & PHILIA]
A comedy tonight!

[PSEUDOLUS]
Father and mother
Get one another

[DOMINA]
Something for everyone

[SENEX]
A tragedy tonight!

[MILES]
I get the twins, they get the best

[ERRONIUS]
I get a family

[HYSTERIUM]
I get a rest
[SOLDIERS]
We get a few girls

[LYCUS]
I get some new girls

[PSEUDOLUS]
I get the thing I want to be:
Free!

[ALL]
Free! Free! Free! Free! Free!
Nothing for kings, nothing for crowns
Something for the lovers, liars and clowns!
What is the moral?
Must be a moral
Here is the moral, wrong or right:

[PSEUDOLUS]
Morals tomorrow!

[ALL]
Comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy
Comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy tonight!