[Verse 1: Sabrina Carpenter]
My mom loves her purse, daddy loves his telescope
Sammy loves her spy kit, Peter loves his jump rope
Ooh, yeah
My sister Amy gets a bike, brother gets a tambourine
And Amy's husband Dave gets, um, pass
My mom loves cashmere, my father loves photography
And Amy's husband Dave loves Amy

[Chorus: Sabrina Carpenter]
Giving gifts fills me with joy
Wrapping up each little toy
Eyes so brightly ooh and ah
Now what do I get my brother-in-law?

[Interlude: Kyle Mooney & Sabrina Carpenter]
Hey, you haven't given me anything yet
Right

[Verse 2: Sabrina Carpenter]
Sammy is a whiz at math, Peter is an athlete
Amy's an adventurer and her husband Dave
I don't really know a lot about
I think he mentioned baseball
Is cash faux pas?
Maybe he likes IPAs
Who is my brother-in-law?
[Chorus: Sabrina Carpenter]
Giving gifts fills me with joy
Wrapping up each little toy
Eyes so brightly ooh and ah
What the **** do I get my brother-in-law?

[Interlude: Kyle Mooney & Sabrina Carpenter]
I like food and I like pants
And I like blue and I like music
And I like sports
Okay

[Bridge: Jillian Bell, Kyle Mooney & Sabrina Carpenter]
I got you a journal and your new perfume
I'm not gonna give you a gift until you give me one
Who is this man? What does he do?
I've known him ten years and I don't have a clue
Ooh, yeah

[Interlude: Sabrina Carpenter & Jillian Bell]
So what? He just, like, hangs out?
Yeah, when he's not at work
What's his job again?
Oh, I forget

[Chorus: Sabrina Carpenter]
Giving gifts fills me with joy
Wrapping up each little toy
Eyes so brightly ooh and ah
Seriously, what the hell do I get him?
[Verse 3: Sabrina Carpenter]
Here is a shaving kit, here is a bracelet
And for my brother-in-law

[Spoken: Sabrina Carpenter, Kyle Mooney & Jillian Bell]
A phone charger
I love it, I've always needed one of these
You're so interesting
Where'd you get this?
You're like a genius
You're really something special, Sabrina
May I hug you?
Yeah, okay
You really made this a really awesome Christmas
I really care about you
Honey, stop hugging my sister
Oh, I'm sorry about that

[Outro: Sabrina Carpenter]
What the **** do I get my brother-in-law?