[Verse]
I love those great big blue eyes
I love those laughter lines
Round about where an ill wind blows
That's where, for me, it shines

[Hook]
And I have no inhibitions
That I wish to put on
If I did, what would I inhibit?
A painting I've never done

[Chorus]
And such is life, as Ned once said
However, let's be clear
If you think that a noose 'round my neck
Makes a happy man of me
You're barking up the wrong tree

[Verse]
I hate those cold damp mornings
Despite a good night's sleep
Stepping out when it's still not light
It feels like I should retreat

[Hook]
And as for those glamour model types
Who when they strut their stuff
Look about as dressed as a naked chef
Making his powder puff
[Chorus]
And while they're on the subject
Where in God's name have you been?
Oh, I've been waiting 'round for hours
If you think it's good for me, yeah-yeah
You're barking up the wrong tree

[Verse]
And to the idiots who say for tusks
Killing elephants is not unjust
Don't you wish a herd would come along
And overrule them?

[Verse]
Can't for the life of me, see
How marksmen armed with guns
Thinks a man with a table leg
As threatening to either one

[Verse]
And yet, as marksmen, surely
Assuming as I've said
That there is some doubt
They must take him out
Why do it in the head?
[Chorus]
Oh, and such is life, as Ned once said
However, let's be clear
If barking mad's where you think I'm from
Take a little tip from me
Take a little tip from me

[Outro]
You are barking, you are barking (you're barking up the wrong tree)
You are barking, you are barking, you are barking (up the wrong tree)
You are barking (you're barking up the wrong tree)
Ooh-ooh-ooh
You are barking up the wrong tree
Yeah-yeah