(Spoken)
Okay, you guys. I'm gonna sing you this song right now. This is kind of a sweet song. I sing it to my wife, because she lets me talk about so many things in front of you people. And she doesn't even get mad at me. She's pretty damn cool, so here we go.

(Sung)
I met you 20 years ago, and we talked all night
You drank me under the table, yeah, it was love at first sight
I'd knew right then and there, I'd grow old with you

I said I'd tell you jokes whenever you're sad
Make you a mom if you made mе a dad
Oh, it's been so much fun growing old with you
Oh, oh

I love you, foot rub you
Tell you you're thе only one I'm thinking of
Make big decisions with you, try new positions with you
Even set and watch f***ing "Eat Pray Love"
2 times in a row

Now when I'm on a diet, you take away my potatoes
Say "F*** all these guys" after reading Rotten Tomatoes
I hope they all die miserable deaths, as I grow old with you

You scold me, you hold me
Look the other way when I dress like a pimp
You cry to me, you lie to me
But only when you tell me that the d*** looks big
Now, we don't need a big house, we don't need any money
All we need is you and me, and Sadie and Sunny
I got everything I want, growing old with you

(Spoken)
And this goes for all of you guys here tonight.

(Sung)
Thanks for growing old with me!!!

(Spoken)
All right, you all. Thank you so much. Respect! Rock and roll! I love you, too. Let's do it again sometime. Thank you. Thank you.

Well, folks, I've been given the light, and I must go. But thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the show. (cheers and applause)