Ryan, tomorrow's the big day your mom's coming home with your new baby sister
"baby sister"
That's right Ryan, baby sister. Now, we have to go over a few safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister
"safety rules"
Alright, rule number one: always wash your hands before touching the baby
"wash hands"
Do you know why?
"no"
Well, because you have germs on your hands, and germs are bad for the baby, cause they can make the baby sick
"germs make baby sick"
That's right Ryan, germs make baby sick
"germs make the baby sick"
Okay, rule number two:
"more rules"
Don't feed the baby anything
"don't feed the baby"
That's right
"why?"
Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food
"why?"
Well, other food is bad for the baby
"other food bad for the baby"
That's right, good
Now, rule number three:
"more rules"
Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby
"water bad for the baby"
Well, not all water, just hot water
"yes"
'cause hot water will burn the baby
"I don't understand, daddy"
Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking?
"yes"
Well, this water is okay for the baby
"yes"
Here, touch the glass
"yes"
See? It's nice and cool
"yes"
Now, if this was hot water that would be bad, because hot water can burn the baby
"hot water burn baby?"
Yes, hot water burn baby
"baby can't go in swimming pool?"
Oh, no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool, that's alright
But the jacuzzi is bad
"hot water burn the baby"
Now, say you made a cup of tea. Would you take that near the baby?
"yeah baby like tea"
No, Ryan
"baby no like tea?"
What do you make tea with?
"hot water"
And what did we say about hot water?
"oh, hot water burn baby"
That's right, so no tea near the baby
"hot water burn baby"
I think you're getting it!
"hot water burn baby"
That's right, Ryan
"hot water burn baby"
Now don't you *ever* forget that
...30 years later...

Hey, what are you doing out there?
Just watchin' the Discovery Channel
[...]