Dear God, please
Hear me out, I know it's been a couple years
Since I've reached
Out and said hello, I bet You're wondering
Why I keep
Obsessing on and stressin' all the little things
When I should be
Living life and soaking up the memories
I know I have I have been selfish
No excuse to give You, it's true
Hanging by a thread's how I live
I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable


Livin' in my agony
Watchin' my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy

Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like somethin's off when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't opened yet
I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget
I got some phone calls I been avoidin'
Some family members I don't really connect with
Some things I said I wish I woulda not let slip
Hurtful words that never shoulda left my lips
Some bridges burned I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losin' hope, headed down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Livin' in my agony
Watchin' my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy


I wonder when I learned it's not safe
To talk about my feelings and make
Somebody bad for my sake
It's selfish
That's what I heard from a young age
Crying was always a mistake
Now I haven't shed a single tear since the first grade
Is that sad?
Nah it's just what I'm used to
Never wanted you to feel the pain that felt too
Thought I was being considerate but it felt through
When I went so many years trapped in the same loops
And it's hard to escape that now
I'm more comportable with depressed and drowning in my regrets
Than wearing a big ol' smile
Joy doesn't last, struggle with getting attached
Then I'm back down
I don't always wanna hide my fears away
When I act like that I get more afraid
Sharing all the struggles in this life I face
Means that we won't feel so alone today when I'm


Livin' in my agony
Watchin' my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy