[Verse 1]
Well, there's nothing more to add before I leave
This thing of ours is dead but don't you grieve
Is it me or are they younger every night?
Just because they can doesn't make it alright

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm hanging by my teeth
Waiting on quick relief
While the kids don't sleep for days
I could die in a hundred-odd ways

[Chorus]
Well, I'm so sick of hearing how your love for this has died
But don't tell me, you could do it if you tried
It's a shame or a sham
He's half as old as I am
But don't tell me he could look good if he tried

[Verse 2]
Well, it terrifies the life from out of me
It's really such a lazy way to be
Hiding in the bedroom, climbing up the walls
You've got to kick it out of me gently
'Til it begs and pleads, and crawls
[Chorus]
Well, I'm so sick of hearing how your love for this has died
But don't tell me, you could do it if you tried
It's a shame or a sham
He's half as old as I am
But don't tell me he could look good if he tried

And I'm so sick of hearing how your love for this has died
But don't tell me you could do it if you tried
It's a shame or a sham
He's half as old as I am
But don't tell me he could look good if he tried

[Outro]
Won't you make sure my mother gets half my weight in gold?
Tell her I just did what I was told
Grab your expensive coat and bury it inside
But don't tell me you could do it if you tried