[Verse 1]
The car's always there at nine
Though he's never out on time
Night after night, line after line
He'll be fine, I suppose
The famous Mr. Jones

[Verse 2]
He really should relax
He's due a heart attack
Though there's no heart to attack
Is it an act? No one knows
The naughty Mr. Jones

[Chorus]
In a world full of weird, you're the oddest ever
Heard you brought everyone here so much pleasure, clever
We all know that you know you're a national treasure
Mrs Jones, you made the best boy ever, ever, E-V-E-R

[Verse 3]
He's careful with his weight
Pushes food around the plate
He could never pass as straight
Ask his mates how it goes
The careful Mr. Jones
[Verse 4]
Even his mother thinks he's odd
He hasn't got a proper job
But he says neither did God
And he's the Lord
As it goes, the mighty Mr. Jones

[Chorus]
In a world full of weird, you're the oddest ever
Heard you brought everyone here so much pleasure, clever
We all know that you know you're a national treasure
Mrs Jones, you made the best boy ever, ever, E-V-E-R

In a world full of weird, you're the oddest ever
Heard you brought everyone here so much pleasure, clever
We all know that you know you're a national treasure
Mrs Jones, you made the best boy ever, ever

[Bridge]
The moral of this tale
Is when everything's for sale
Good men seldom prevail, they all fail
As he knows, the gifted Mr. Jones