[STUYVESANT, spoken]
A lot great books have been written in prison
Don Quixote and Pilgrim's Progress and the Book of Revelations
Don't waste a minute

[STUYVESANT]
If you want to be alone with time to think
If you want to have a fling with pen and ink
If you utter meanings cryptic
In words apocalyptic
And in high poetic terms the rotten universe assail
Then the very best place for you is jail

A man is at his happiest sitting in jail
Where they bring in your victuals in the well-known pail
Where they never make a charge and you pay no fee
And you don't have to figure on the do-re-mi
And you say what you think
For even thought is free
Along with all varieties of liberty
So long as you are sitting in jail
So long as you are sitting in jail

Then you don't have to worry with wrong or right
Then you're always certain where you'll sleep at night
If your sentiments are shocking
No one listens while you're talking
And breakfast, lunch and dinnertime the beans never fail
And the very best place for you is jail
A man is at his happiest sitting in jail
They don't serve turtle and they don't serve quail
But you have no bills to pay on the ultimo
And never have to add up the mi-re-do
And you say what you think
For speech and thought are free
Along with all varieties of liberty
So long as you are sitting in jail
So long as you are sitting in jail