[Verse 1]
At a comedy club
Is where I found out
I don't like to laugh
At a haunted house
Is where I discovered
That I don't like scary masks
I'd rather stay in my house
Listen to the radio
Sports talk radio
'Cause music's a no-no

[Refrain]
Every genre
Of music bores me
I only care about football now

[Chorus]
Football, football
Now, now
Football, football
Now, now

[Verse 2]
At a bar mitzvah
Is where I discovered
That I don't like dancing
At a funeral
Is where I found out
That I don't like fancy
I'd rather sit
In my car
Listening to Sirius XM
Sports talk satellite radio
'Cause music's a no-go

[Refrain]
Every genre
Of music bores me
I only care about football now

[Bridge]
R.P.O., the run pass option
My favorite football abbreviation
I'm gonna learn the wide receiver route tree
So I can get down on my knees
And take my headphones off
I will

[Chorus]
Football, football
Now, now
Football, football
Now, now

[Outro]
Ain't talkin' 'bout Grizzly Bear
(Football, football)
I'm talking the Chicago Bears
(Now, now)
Ain't talkin' 'bout Animal Collective
(Football, football)
I'm talkin' 'bout the Jaguars and Broncos and Cardinals and Seahawks and Rams
(Now, now)