[Verse 1]
Melora says you shouldn't envy the dead
And she wouldn't wanna be a Kennedy
Drilling holes into their daughter's head
These are the things that Melora says

[Chorus]
In a funhouse built in 1804
Melora holds court on a wooden floor
Playing the cello, knowing the score
These are the things that's she's famous for

[Verse 2]
With a gingerbread coffin and a bailing hook
All things uncertain, all things undone
Extremists should live by the book
With a Ouija board, a Barbie, and a Gatling gun!

[Instrumental Interlude]

[Chorus]
Melora says it's not for me
Giving Rosemary a lobotomy
Not one to judge, hold a grudge
But certain things are just plain to see
[Outro]
With a gingerbread coffin and a bailing hook
All things uncertain, all things unsaid
Extremists should live by the book
With a Ouija board, a Barbie, and Cromwell's head!