[Intro: Melvin Gregg as Silento, Shirtless Bro 1, Shirtless Bro 2, Shirtless Bro 3]
Whip, Nae Nae
Whip, Nae Nae
Shit, Shit, Nae Nae
You already know who it is
No we don’t!
Who’s that bro?
I don’t know
This guy is way too happy

[Chorus 1: Silento]
I cannot whip (You stink!)
I cannot nae nae (No way!)
Can’t whip for shit, shit
I can’t nae nae (You can’t do it!)
I dance like I (Stop it!)
Am an old white guy (It’s true)
Who has never heard rap in his life (Stop doin' it!)
Why in the hell is my name Silento?
I’m the opposite all I do is scream
This song’s like crack, addictive but bad
In total it has ten unique words

[Verse 1: Alphonso McAuley as Soulja Boy & Silento]
I am Soulja Boy, you are copying my style and my concept of having a big hit song based on stupid dancing
Well, at least I’m not addicted to lean
You did Crank That (Crank That!)
Years ago (Years ago!)
What have you done since? (Done since?)
No one knows! (No one knows!)
You’re popular now (He’s high)
But you’ll be a one hit wonder (So high)
Just like me (Burn!)
This song just steals dances (Bop bop)
Other people made up
It’s unoriginal (Bop bop)
Who cares Soulja? Shut up!
[Chorus 2: Silento, Taylor Jayne as Dance Instructor, Alphonso McAuley as Soulja Boy, & Soulja Boy]
I’m not a thief (I’m not a thief)
I’m like Fat Jewish (I’m like Fat Jewish)
But of hip hop dance moves and music (That’s accurate)
The difference is I give credit (I give credit)
When he steals jokes he always edits (Always edits) (He's a huge dick!)
Who are you?
I’m here to show you how to do your dance when you do it you look like an uptight suburban man
Why can’t you do it?
I’m so frustrated I’ll strangle you!

[Verse 2: Alex Farnham as Jared Fogle, Alphonso McAuley as Soulja Boy, Soulja Boy, Dance Instructor & *Bart Baker as Subway Rep*]
Oh, no! My mask came off my head
Hey, I know you!
It’s that weird perv, Jared
What have you got?
A five dollar foot long
No wonder you couldn’t dance all along
Yes, it’s true, I have been hiding as a rap artist
Cause I am on the run, the cops want Jared’s ass
*We have torn up your contract!
We’re finished with you!
Drop that sandwich!*
First, there’s something I want to do

[Chorus 3: Jared Fogle, Subway Rep, & Soulja Boy]
I want to whip (Stop it!)
With this big foot long (Oh God!)
Watch Jared whip, whip with his foot long (Someone shoot him!)
Just whip the tip (Jesus!)
Of my foot long (Please stop!)
Watch Jared whip, whip with his foot long
[Outro Skit: Soulja Boy]
Man, that was one weird ass half-time show
Hello?
Yeah, man, they done shot Jared!