[Intro: Bart Baker as Avril Lavigne]
I'm a psycho, pale germaphobe
Don't, don't, don't, don't touch me!
The sun is burning me!

[Verse 1: Avril Lavigne, Fan #1]
I can't stand sunlight
It's been ten years since I've been outside
You can take a pic, but don't come near me
(Ooh-woah, ooh-woah, ooh-woah)
My skin is translucent
I look like a Skrillex mutant
Get this vampire away from me
(Hey, hey, hey, hey)

[Verse 2: Avril Lavigne, Man #1]
I don't need your judgment
The guy from Nickelback is my husband
I get enough shit already
(Your husband's music sucks!)
I used to be punk rock
But now I'm trying to act J-pop
My career's dead, someone help me
(Hey, hey, hey, hey)

[Chorus: Avril Lavigne]
This video's so bad
The lyrics are so sad
That Hello Kitty has banned me
I am so immature
Dressed up like I am four
Am I a rocker or anime?
I'm so co-co-confused
[Drop: Joshua Sowden as Skrillex]
You stole my haircut and skin tone
And my dubstep style, you ho
This song is a horrible joke
These lyrics fit on a Post-It note

[Verse 2: Avril Lavigne, Backup Dancer #1, All Backup Dancers]
This vid is so racist
Made my dancers look cloned and brainless
'Cause they all look alike to me
(Is this bitch serious?)
Paid them tons of money
To stereotype their country
(We bring dishonor to family)
(Hey, hey, hey, hey)

[Chorus: Man #2, Avril Lavigne]
Calm down, Ms. Lavigne
I don't carry disease
You look extremely sickly
Someone kill this guy dead
He just touched my forehead
Get me disinfected right now, please
I, I, I, I can't breathe!

[Drop: Chef, Avril Lavigne]
Why are you moving like a cartoon?
Because that's what Japanese girls do
They all clap their hands and sound like this
Get out of here, you damn racist
[Chorus: Adam Dorsey as Chad Kroeger, Avril Lavigne]
Avril, you must stop this
Everybody hates it
Even more than they despise Nickelback
I think we were way off
Dubstep J-pop's not hot
The way back to the top is rap
Gre-gre-gre-great idea!