[Intro: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor]
My new single has the exact same beat as
"All About That Bass" had it's just a bit faster
And this video's trash it is just a rehash
Of the vid for that smash it's just not quite as good

[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, Alx James as Director]
I feel dizzy from paint fume
Can't he spray paint this in a different room
Meghan this production wraps at noon, So just sing your stupid tune!
They're doing these extreme close-ups of my lips
It's guaranteed to make you squeamish
These sets were made by a little kid
That's why they look like shit

[Pre-Chorus: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, Denis Kochkin & Danny Amaral De Matos as Dancers]
In my last song I attacked women with skinny thighs
And mocked them for their size
Now in this song I say all men ever do is lie
You're not nice!

[Chorus: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor]
This video
Is just a commercial
For this new HP tablet
They gave me cash
Millions of dollars
To pretend I use this piece of shit
I didn't spend
Much on production
That's why this video looks so cheap
My fame and success
Might not last much longer
So that cash I'm gonna keep
[Post-Chorus: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, GloZell, Olga Kay & Alx James as Themselves]
To drive online traffic
In key demographics
We should use this tactic
Fill this vid with webstars
The fans are devoted
They will promote it
Wait a second, hold it, is that why we're here, Bart?!

[Interlude: GloZell as Herself]
Oh, I see how you is you just usin' us for views, huh?!

[Verse 2: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, Jack Douglass & Yousef Erakat Two Sided Suit Guys]
Every time a man makes a sound
He's definitely lying
Whoa! Hey! That's a generalization
You're men so your both lying (Whoa!)

[Pre-Chorus: Alan Green as Santa, Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor]
Meghan it's not fair to say that all men lie lie lie
Some are naughty, some are nice
Here's my naughty and nice list
Some are good guys
You're a man so you lie

[Chorus: Christophe Zajac-Denek as Elf, Denis Kochkin, Danny Amaral De Matos, Shaniece Cole & Taylor Jayne as Dancers, Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor]
Santa is dead! (Dead!)
He was killed by Meghan (You bitch!)
But Christmas must still go on (Still go on)
Since you killed him (Killed him)
You must replace him
Put on this Santa suit and be gone
I have a plan
To get my revenge
On all the stupid men and boys
It's the perfect gift
For everyone of them
Much better than Christmas toys
[Outro video skit: Markiplier as Brad, Denis Kochkin as Angry Kid, Christianna Reinhardt as Christmas Mom]
Well what do we have here Timmy, looks like you got a present from Santa Claus
Ooh gimme gimme.....What the fuck? An HP? THAT BASTARD GOT ME AN HP. AH I WANTED AN iPad. CHRISTMAS IS RUINED
Oh we are
Really Brad, you got him an HP?
I didn't get that OK? I-
I want a divorce, merry Christmas asshole
Honey! No wait! I didn't do it! It wasn't me it was.. Who did get that?