Just minutes before you came to
see me, I finished sobbing until my
ribs broke
Moments ago, I wiped the tears
from my eyes
Peeled the red from my cheeks,
and the hurt from my voice
My friend, you are the one I'm truly
hiding from
It's far too ugly inside
Just seconds before you appeared,
I tried to disappear forever
Vanished like the words from my
mouth that are left unspoken
We lock eyes
I want to beg for hеlp but I can't
It's been months since somebody
asked mе if I'm okay
And even if they did, I wouldn't answer
It's far too complex
This isn't a simple sadness
This is a complicated catastrophe
I do not believe in me, so why
would you
My feelings disappear before I can
figure them out
My chest hurts, the inside
My heart, my ribs, my pride
I swallow it down and realise I'm
not alright
Last night, I dreamt of feeling okay
and I didn't like it
Because pain is perfect
Scars are preferred
And rotting is pleasant
Ink dries as my words refuse to
write
Friends leave as my thumbs refuse
to type
Leaves fall and silent sobs erupt
from within
I fall to my knees and I beg
Why me
Why am I the prophet of pain
When I don't have the words
anymore
I am lost
I grasp for anything to distract me
from wanting it all to end
One day at a time
Until the days begin to crumble
Until I can't tell today from
tomorrow
Until your mouth blurs over and
hearing your words become
punishment
Until my skin drips like candle wax
Until pretty words burn upon pages
And I am left alone
You want someone to lift you up
but I have fallen
You need someone to wipe your
tears but I am sobbing
My outlet has become my own
worst enemy
Nothing is real
And I am lost