[Verse 1]
Well, the bartender's workin' on a late-night shift
Cheap bums and blondes and barmaids on a midnight drift
And the dance band's playing the same old sling
I'm sinkin' whiskey and you're sippin' fine wine
I don't know what it is you're tryin' to prove
Well, it should be you, but it's me who can hardly move, hehe
And I've got my reputation lyin' on the line
Come on, baby, be a good dog and— and help the blind

[Chorus]
Oh, won't you carry me home?
Won't you carry me home?
Won't you carry me home?
Like a truck, pick me up, oh

[Verse 2]
You ain't no lady, but you sure got taste in men
That head of yours has got you by time and time again
My arms and legs are achin' and my head's about to blow
And your back's been breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the show
But I just spent next week's wages and I'm right out of coin
But you want more, and it's half-past four, and they wanna close the joint
And we can't afford a taxi, and it's too late for the bus
But I've been told by friends of mine you're someone I can trust
[Chorus]
Carry me home
Oh, won't you carry me home? Oh, yeah
Carry me home
Don't leave me lyin' here, in all this beer, oh

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
You drank all your booze and half of mine
I'm bleary-eyed and you're waitin' for the sunshine to come and kill me
Just like the man who threw me on the floor
Don't matter, while I'm down here, I might as well try and find the fuckin' door
Excuse me, have you seen it? It's about this big
And have you got a plastic bag, 'cause I'm gonna be sick
I'm dead drunk and heavin', hangin' upside down
And you're gettin' up and leavin', you think I'm gonna drown

[Chorus]
Carry me home
Oh, won't you carry me home? I need your help
Carry me home
Oh-hohohohohohoho, ooh, ow
Carry me home
Oh, won't you carry me home?
Oh, carry me home
Oh, haha, ah-hahahahaha, ah-hahahaha