Well I met this old woman, she was hard as nails
I think she'd just come out of the county jail
But I loaned her some money just to pay her rent
If I would, she would put me in her last will and testament

Well I got lots of children, an ex-wife or two
I never hear from them till the bills are due
The money I gave 'em, they already spent
If I could just slip 'em out, you put me in the last will and testament

You know I'm going over sixty, I'm older than most
It won't be long now, I'll be nothing but a ghost
My intentions, it's my intent
To leave all of them people out of my last will and testament

And when it's all over, they put you in the ground
Send my belongings to the lost and found
My intention, it's my intent
To leave all of them people out of my last will and testament

Hey hey hey, hey