I dreamt that I screwed every stupid actress in LA
I dreamt that I was holding them and told them it'd be okay
It's not easy being famous anyways
So famous people say
'Cause everyone that you meet just wants to screw you
And you can't complain

And it's a shame, she'd be a queen back in Rhode Island
Now she waits in line with the other sad clichés
And besides, she's really not so sexy and wild
That was just the part she had to play

"Don't call me stupid! Don't call me a fraud!"
"A little too pretty for Hollywood, honey."
"What'cha mean, ma'am?"
"Hollywood's full of pretty hip guys. You know what can happen to a pretty girl all alone there?"

I dreamt that I saved every stupid actress in LA
And every aging waitress who gave it up
And had to change back her name
They floated out of every coke-fueled party
Every overpriced café
But that was just some dream I had
And when I woke up nothing changed

Even though she don't have grace like Greta Garbo
Even though she don't have eyes like Clara Bow
That leather glove could pluck you from the huddled mass tomorrow
And toss you through a gilded puff of smoke
"I once knew a girl who was so beautiful, and smart, with integrity. Don't know what's become of her."
"Don't call me stupid! Don't call me a fraud!"
"Yeah. Some of you act like you got a head with no brain, or neither one of them."
"After all, I've never seen so many go down with so much and come up with so little."

I dreamt that I was every stupid actress in LA
I dreamt it that you meant it when you said that
You would come and see my play
You sat there and you watched me
And you thought it was pretty good for a pretty face
And wondered, if I had a soul to sell
Would it get bought, or just thrown away?

The statue of infamy, it gazes down in silence
From its perch up there in the Hollywood Hills
Give me your crazy and your desperate and your beautiful but inspired
I'll give them glamour, give them thrills

And to me there's nothing sad about a dream
She screamed as she swan dove from a pearly-white H
Those nobodies back home, they only dream while they're asleep
Not you and me babe we keep ours through the day

"When that test gets to Hollywood, you will be the new dramatic find of the year!"
"You thought it was sad?"
"Sad, Mr. Jenkins? It was miserable."