[Intro]
According to a recent tweet by Iggy Azalea
"Diss songs shouldn't be filled with
Celebrity name drops to pad out lazy bars"
I beg to differ

[Verse]
Rihanna never hit me in a text, I take that as disrespect
So now I’m gonna diss this set of celebs, just for the Swift effect
Don't care whether it's correct
This is the internet, we’re here to misdirect
So don't get offended, it's just pretend
And I'm dissing them, just to hit the trend
Ripping Eminem's latest song, it'd be thick to spend a cent on
Iggy Azalea, real name is Kelly, so maybe you're jelly
That Machine Gun's taking the credit, your space on radio and telly
You’ve changed, Katy Perry
Used to be irritating but lately you’re very
Whereas me, I'm the same as I was as a teenager
But with a way bigger belly
Oh, by the way, got a tip for J. Cole, just shut your cake hole
Oh, hey, Dolan Dark, these aren’t memes, they're stolen art
You need to see a doctor, Grandayy
Grab that needle, cold and sharp
Stick it in Logan's heart, before the rematch show can start
He's overdosing on his own ego
We need Maxmoefoe so he can barf
At my birthday, someone put on Paul McCartney
I said "Fuh you, don’t spoil my party"
No one wants anymore of The Carters
We only want Jay-Z or Beyoncé
I can't say anything about Ariana Grande
Without making a tear drop
Andrew Huang makes music out of anything
Why not make it out of earshot?
Career got as big as Big Narstie
Now it's shrinking in size, Melissa McCarthy
I'm Dana Carvey, trying to recreate the fame of Garth
Dick Ayoade, you're not Moss
And Minecraft's something that you'll never top, Notch
Beat the devil out of Bob Ross
Make him run out of red, blood loss
Does anybody watch Smosh or did they swap for Vanoss? Gosh
But guess what? Whatever it was, I bet it's not Jesse Cox
Went to the docks and I searched the whole harbour
Still couldn't dredge anything up as low as Nicole Arbour
Not even me when I'm dissing my own father
Or asking, "Where's your certificate, Obama?"
Oh, MC Lars, your tracks are like town on a Wednesday
Empty bars
Damn, I'm begging you, Kendrick Lamar, don't smoke
Your flow's full of phlegm and catarrh
I bent my guitar trying to play like Brian May
I should make him send me the cost
But he might not pay off, like calling iDubbbz gay
Hey, didn't anybody tell J.Cyrus how stale Vine is?
You're past your sell date, RiceGum
Tyler, The Creator, a tireless creator of shiteness
Tried to get the Fine Brothers feat on a track
The cheek, they didn't even react
Don't know where to start with Jacksepticeye
There's too much for this track to rectify
That's the beauty, I don't have to specify
Cover my tracks, I misdirect and lie
Jonathan Pie, a collar and tie, won't hide your bile
So curl up and die
Why do you even try? Should leave and cry like Stephen Fry
Jeez, I sound like Pyrocynical, the kind of guy that find it difficult
To say anything nice, he's like the pinnacle of edgy teens
Trying to rebel
It's nigh on as bad as ImAllexx and I simply don't like Callux
Markiplier? Bollocks, you can write that in italics
Casey Neistat is compensating too hard for his lazy life status
Making millions saying inane opinions
I'm hating Maisie Williams in the same way you're hating Minions
It's a silly thing but I really think Lilly Singh shouldn't really sing
Jimmy Kimmel, get off my homepage
And lemme see more Limmy's Show
Lately, there's way too much Amy Schumer
Can't get rid of her, baby boomer
Had enough of that zany humour
I want her gone now, maybe sooner
JT Music, were you ashamed of your Machinima name
Or did you lose it?
Catch up, we're not living in a kingly age
Yeah, I'm looking at you, Lindybeige
Won't see me in the club, there's a reason, ayy
I dance like Theresa May
Recently, I've been forcing rhymes, Eminem does it all the time
Now Shady's forty-five, anyone still check Shade 45?
By the way, Oliver Age 24, you're not twenty-four anymore
Just go away, Wroetoshaw and on the way out, close the door
GameboyJones should call it quits
I don't know what you're posting for
No one's coming for your show, Paul Joseph Watson
There's no conspiracy, no one's watching
They just chose an option with no bloke who's foaming, frothing?
Rode a Salford bus for several stops, just to slag Gary Neville off
Now that "RAP DEVIL" dropped, I can attack Kwebbelkop
Travis Scott, I've got goosebumps
When I burned the booth of Charlie Sloth
Shefali Oza, weather? He hardly knows her
Give it up, Stylosa, nobody's watching your show, it's all over
Like Alex Jones looking at trans phallic zones on his phone
Though he sprays transphobic rage, he loves dick, Bonecage
Dragging brains back to the stone age
Let's locate Post Malone's cage
Hey, ProZD looks just like an emoji, see?
Give him the stink eye, I miss Pink Guy, how slow could Joji be?
An eager beaver, these people are
Needless as Jessica Nigri's DD procedure
Don't need to hear Justin Bieber, Wiz Khalifa or Nigahiga either
I'm recalling Ethan and Hila, getting all in Jordan Peterson's wiener
Breath reeks of lobster now, better brush your teeth
Call Lady Leshurr
Peter Dinklage need elocution lessons for better speaking english
Hey, Peter Serafinowicz, look around
Your second season's really shit
I blame Graham Lineham personally
Says TERF is a slur but will curse at adversaries
Doubt? Read all about it, where on earth is Professor Green now?
Emma Blackery ain't exactly singing masterly
New songs sound made in a factory and that's flattery
Music quality descending rapidly
Now lemme give Roomie a tip, try improving your tuning a bit
Like the surgery Boogie has picked, it's just a band, Scroobius Pip
Hope nobody'll wanna sue me for this
Chris Brown already had too many hits
How many people can I humanly diss
And how many of 'em will see the humour in this?
6ix9ine's too busy grooming the kids, is he guilty?
Yeah, I'm assuming he is
Chris Pine's no brilliant actor, William Shatner's really a bastard
Dizzee Rascal's as good at music as
Gizzy Gazza's as good at movies
Richard Branson sniffs his pants and Arin Hanson
That man ain't handsome
Jim Chapman, might as well dress in drag or a bin bag
Fuck Big Stig and Syntax, fuck Strippin and Sjin, twats
I don't donate to Philip DeFranco
Patreon hidden, it's fillin' his bank tho, I don't hate him
I'm just jealous of him making dollars out of all you fellows
I make Jacob Rees-Mogg swap place
With Snoop Dogg and do drugs
With Joe Sugg and Pewdie's pugs, Ozuna's music truly sucks
I truly hope Armando Iannucci's movies tank, coochie coo
Lil Pump, don't wanna know what I'd do to your gucci gang
Donald Trump, what can I say that hasn't been said?
I'm all stumped
Like when I'm watching Watsky ruin his career, what's he doing?
I'm obviously too envious of Stupendium to be friends with him
FrankieOnPC 1080p's outdated, get a new pentium
I'm heavily scorning Jeremy Corbyn
Anarchy's a better remedy for him
Could Ellen be more fawning?
Forget Stormzy, gimme a storm warning
I'm going all in, Jake Paul is appalling, Jay Foreman is boring
James Corden, according to me, is a great big ball of just boring
I'll call in and diss my Discord server
'Til Brit's a bit more subservient
Brit, you're my servant, Nick, Jordan, all of you are boring burdens
I'm an insult-hurling Birmingham boy, pure vermin
Slow burning, Bo Burnham
And pointing out that Hola Soy isn't so German
Do I rate Elro? Hell no, potientally wish him well though
Can't take it, but I dish it out, tell Ricky Berwick to lick his elbow
Dude Perfect, you're as perfect as superfluous feuds; worthless
Never worked out what your true purpose is
Useless as Keem as a news journalist
Fuck anybody who's heard my diss
Including you, you're deserving this
Put the word out quick
NerdOut ripped me off, I'm not sore about it
'Cause they're the new kid on the block and I used to be hot
Now I'm not like a burnt out whip
Miracle of Sound, you're really dumbing down
I can already predict your single coming out
I'd give Aaron Fraser-Nash a razor gash
You're a clown, FabvL, chap, sit down
Shit, wow, look at Daddyphatsnaps' cruddy track
That's bloody crap, that
But still, I might pirate it, like I'm on a pirate ship, flying a black flag
Oi, Henry Rollins, you're a punk Phil Collins
Fuck Peter Hollens and Jack Frags
Action Bronson's rappin' nonsense, Elon Musk's an actual nonce
He interrupted Andy Milonakis' stream
And tried to touch his johnson
My stream of consciousness constantly leaking consonants
Upon the beat, incontinent concerts in three different continents
Concertinaed concepts, don't leave a comment
I won't read your correspondence
I'm more bothered reading Boris Johnson's bollocks columns
Cheated on his wife and he lost the ring
So you can't blame the hobbits, Gollum
Alex Wassabi, I'm sorry that you are not with Lauren
Sid Vicious, gone but not forgotten, unlike Johnny Rotten
I'm not fond of Benedenedict Cucumberuphisbottom
Plus, it's not often Hopsin drops something I bother watching
If I've got the option, I would rather watch Matt Hoss or nothing
Make a schedule, Boyinaband
Stop going away and annoying the fans
But Faze Banks, stay away, thanks
I'm sure when you talk it's great bants
Nah, you're as awkward as a Ricky Gervais dance
So I'm already making escape plans
Hmm, I wonder whether Drake wanks
Then shakes hands with underage fans
I'll sponsor Colin Kaepernick just to piss off the racist pricks
I'll take a shit and rub their face in it then make them pay for it
Fuck David Shrigley, Jme, fuck Daniel Craig, Xzibit
And absolutely fuck that Microsoft Word paperclip
I hate myself
[Outro]
I'm just playing, all of you fore-mentioned people
You know I love you