[Intro]
Yo, yo, yo

[Chorus]
Once upon a time up in Jersey, Yo!
Ha ha, I damn near had to wreck a ho
Yo, I knocked on her door
("Who is it?")
Ha ha, it's Funk Doc here to pay a little visit to ya
("Oh!")
I heard them n***as in The Bricks get smoked a lot
I heard them n***as out in Brooklyn get smoked a lot
I heard them n***as all Uptown get smoked a lot (Yo)
I heard them n***as out in Queens get smoked a lot (Yo, yo)

[Verse 1]
I smoke your buddha to the last drop like I was Maxwell
If blunts came in degrees, call me a blackbelt
I'm worldwide chinky (Ah-hah)
Who dub with chrome inkys (Ah-hah)
Chicken ridin' shottie and she boost all her dickie (He-heh)
This is your brain, this is my tape on drugs
If your lame ass can't feel it, then your cord unplugged
PPP smoked your weed, ain't nobody around
You just got clowned for a whole half a pound, check it out, now
I do a lot of stupid shit when I be smokin'
One time I left my truck runnin' in Brooklyn wide open
I forget who I call, ask for Nia (R - "Hello, can I talk to Nia?")
And it's Tonya (G - "NIA?!", R - "Oh shit!")
Click over (R - "Whassup bitch?".. "Oh, hi momma!")
Yo, when I'm on stage rhymin' I forget what state that I'm in
The bitches numbers I lost, my baby mama find 'em
I played the lottery, forty million that day
I probably won the motherfucker but I forgot that I played!
(Yo, yo, yo)
[Chorus]
Once upon a time up in Jersey, Yo!
Ha ha, I damn near had to wreck a ho (Haha! Haha)
Yo, I knocked on her door
("Who is it?")
Hah, it's Funk Doc here to pay a little visit to ya
("Oh, okay!")
I heard them n***as up in Cali get smoked a lot (Ha)
All them n***as in Atlanta get smoked a lot (Haha)
I heard them n***as in Virginia get smoked a lot
I heard them n***as in Rhode Island get smoked a lot
(Ayo-yo, yo)

[Verse 2]
When I get high I start throwin' water in the crowd
Battle MCs off the top, slaughterin' a child
Detroit call it Ganz (Ah-hah)
Miami call it Krip (Ah-hah)
No matter what you call it, it be peelin' back my shit!
(Aiyyo Cali n***as got Bomb!)
Shit, that same Bomb
Made me forget my mama's birthday and it's tattoed on my arm
I misplace my Lex keys everytime I be zee'd up
I was caught puttin' Christmas trees up, and it was Easter!
Do y'all motherfuckers feel high tonight?
Knowin' y'all n***as shouldn't drive tonight? (Haha)
Yo, however the plan go, close the Caravan door
So we can all die and get high off of secondhand smoke (Haha)
Brick City got the Pep, empty out your Black N' Milds
Smokin the L with Doc earn frequent flyer miles
I flew around the planet with my weed tucked in (Ah-hah)
I need to go to E.O. rehab, and sign my stankin ass in!
(Wassup, yo, yo!)
[Chorus]
Once upon a time up in Jersey, Yo!
Ah-hah, I damn near had to wreck a ho (Haha)
Yo, I knocked on her door
("Who is it?")
Yo, it's Funk Doc here to pay a little visit to ya (Yo, yo)
("Hee-hee!")
I heard them n***as in The Bronx get smoked a lot
I heard them n***as up in Yonkers get smoked a lot
I heard them n***as in Chi-Town get smoked a lot
I heard them n***as in Detroit get smoked a lot

[Outro]
Lot, lot, lot, lot
Yo, yo, yo, yo
(Yo!) Motherfucker!
Don't fuck around in The Bricks motherfucker
Rats'll whoop your ass over there motherfucker
N***a got so much Backyard Boogie over there
The seeds'll kill you motherfucker, yeah!
Chickenheads'll rob you over there motherfucker
Sucker ass motherfucker
Fuck on outta here, haha!
Yo light that shit here!

[Skit: Female Reporter]
We gon' take you out, on W Fuck All Y'all radio!