Spoken:

Düsseldorf, 1969
Mister and Misses Upduff and grandmother Upduff
Decided they were going on a vacation
Mother Upduff hanging out in Düsseldorf for 80 years
They pack the car, they take in equipment and started driving off
To Italy
Mother Upduff was thinking about the mafia on their way to Italy
And off they went, driving in their automobile

Finally they got to Italy, beautiful old Italy, fantastic sights
Pompeii they went to
They went to Pompeii, they went to Venice, they went to Sicily
They went to Florence, their final stop was Rome
Off to Rome

Rome, there they were in Rome
Old paintings, old buildings, fantastic sights to see
Grandmother Upduff decided she was going out for a walk
Out she went for a walk
Mister and Misses Upduff decided they'd follow
Off they went behind Grandmother Upduff, yelling behind her

Mother Upduff is walking on the street, looking at all the shop windows
Finally, or is it the beginning, Mother Upduff was standing there, watching
In the fish market, a gigantic octopus leaped out off the pool and snatched Grandmother Upduff up
Little do they know what to do, Mother and Father Upduff looked
Not having any money at all
They decided that they would have to wrap her up in a tent
And carry her back to Düsseldorf
Wrapping her up in a tent, putting her on top of the car
And fiercely driving off to Düsseldorf
Off they went back to Düsseldorf
On their way to Düsseldorf, they were still in Italy
They drove into a café to have a cup of coffee
Sipping that cup of coffee up, coming back outside
Their car has been stolen with their luggage

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh…