(Spoken intro)
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Maestro!

(Song)
[DAVID HYDE PIERCE]
Oh, David Hyde Pierce is my name, it's great to be here in New York
I'm on Kelsey Grammer's show, I play his brother, who's a dork
I'm hosting Saturday Night Live, I'm nervous, I've got shaky knees
I love the show, although I haven't watched it since the '70s

[SOLDIERS]
He's hosting Saturday Night Live, he's nervous, he's got shaky knees
He loves the show, although he hasn't watched it since the '70s

[DAVID HYDE PIERCE]
I love Kelsey like a brother, even though he is my boss
I was just delighted when he won the Emmy and I lost
Oh, Kelsey is our show's big star, I'm number two, that's only fair
'Cause he deserves it, even though I'm young and thin and have more hair

[SOLDIERS]
Oh, Kelsey is the show's big star, he's number two, that's only fair
'Cause he deserves it, even though he's young and thin and has more hair

[DAVID HYDE PIERCE]
They made me come and stand out here in a costume that doesn't fit
This brilliant song was their idea, now I look like an idiot
This really is embarrassing, I'm mortified, I want to flee
And every time I sing a line, they sing it back annoyingly
[SOLDIERS]
This really is embarrassing, he's mortified, he wants to flee
And every time he sings a line, we sing it back annoyingly

[DAVID HYDE PIERCE]
Kelsey, what I said before, I wish that I could take it back
We've got a great show, Live is here, so stick around, we'll be right back

[SOLDIERS]
Kelsey, what he said before, he wishes he could take it back
We've got a great show, Live is here so, stick around, we'll be right back

[ALL]
We've got a great show, Live is here so, stick around, we'll be right back