[Verse 1]
Tell us, once again, this morning, old friend
How did you win the war?
Everybody loves a hero
It won't matter if we've heard your tale before
Tell us of the time when almost everybody knew you were a star
And how intelligent you are
Prove that you're alive, Mr. Shuck 'n' Jive

[Verse 2]
Tell us of the man who stole your fortune
And nearly ruined your life
Or, better still, the one about the TV and the couch
And your best friend's wife
Tell us of grand projects never finished with somebody else to blame
And all the reasons that your fame
Never did arrive, Mr. Shuck 'n Jive

[Scat Interlude]

[Verse 3]
If you can get yourself together
Kindly write a criticism of this song
How it's exquisitely constructed, yet mechanical
And somehow slightly wrong
Put it in your book about the enemy you never even met
You know, you just might make it yet
But I don't think you'll survive, Mr. Shuck 'n Jive
[Outro]
You know, you just might make it yet (Yet)
Mr. Shuck 'n Jive