[Skit: Jack Schlossberg, Jake Shane]
Hi
Hi, Jack
Wait, why you sound so sad?
Um, I just went on the weirdest date ever
Why, what? Tell me, why was it so weird?
So, I went on this fucking date and, well, I don't know if straight people do this, but I was like, and then I came on this date, you know just to double check that it was a date
What to you mean like, you said like, I was on my way here, I was like doing something else and then I came here on this date
Yes, exactly
Just to see if he was gonna agree that it was a date, yeah, okay, got ya, smart
Right, smart
Smart
And he was like, well, what are you talking about?
Oh, bummer
I know, and he said
Wasn't a date?
Yeah, and then asked to be the producer of my podcast and then I paid the check
Ugh, I'm sorry, Jake, that sucks, that's a bummer, you'll get him next time, there's plenty of guys out there
Ugh, Jack you're right, I needed to hear that
So what was your outfit, what were you wearing?
Well, I was wearing like, denim on denim
Wait? Denim on denim, I'm [?] obsessed
And the only reason I was wearing denim on denim is because I was coming from an event and I texted him that I was changing, like I was changing from the date, he said, "what are you wearing?", I said, "denim on denim", and he said, "hot"
Wait, he can't do that to us
That's what I said, and if you're gonna text me "hot" before I show up to drinks, I'm gonna assume it's a date
Well, yeah
I would've preferred, like a ghost, I wish he just ghosted me after
Wait, so what did he, what happened after?
Well, he ghosted me, but he, I wish he didn't say anything on the date
Jake, listen, he doesn't know himself very well, that's what it sounds like to me, and you're gonna be just fine, you're a catch okay? you don't need me to tell you that, but I'm here to do that anytime you need me to, okay?
Ugh, Jack, I don't know, I just, I feel so defeated, I don't know what to do
Jake, that doesn't sound like you, didn't you say you wanna be a popstar, why don't you write a song about it?