[Verse 1]
I like to hang out in the men's locker room
The party's started in the men's locker room
We're wearing towels in the men's locker room
We talk for hours in the men's locker room

[Chorus]
It's been a long day and I wanna relax
So I head to the gym
I don't work out, I just like to wear towels
And hang with the younger men

[Verse 2]
I use the sauna in the men's locker room
Avoiding Donna in the men's locker room
My marriage failing in the men's locker room ("Thank you!")
We're wearing sandals ("Well, you don't have to listen to it; this is nonsense.") in the men's locker room

"Thank you. Now comes the part of the show where you watch me move a piano by myself."