[Verse 1]
I've been doing YouTube for a year now
And it's all because of Caspar that I'm here now
Look up Jimmy Fallon 'cause I need an idea now
And if you want my own idea it's gonna be a while
Born in the S.A., taller than a tree
Red head motherfucker, yes that's me
If you want a little promo for a little fee
Go ahead and call up Caspar number three
Yep, that's me, mister sixty hours no sleep
For the views, do it for a week
Or for a retweet
Pissed myself eating chillies
But if you want the fame, that's a key
So I hit up Joe Sugg with the mo' subs
Hit him like, what's up, can we collab?

[Interlude: Josh Pieters & Joe Sugg]
Josh, what the fuck's a coll-ub?
Well, I wanted to say collab, but it didn't really rhyme
Anyway, do you wanna collab?
No, piss off

[Verse 2]
Fuck him, I don't give a fuck about him anyway
Caspar's got more subs than Joe, Imma be okay
Caspar's got like, oh shit, oh wait
Gonna have to make Joe Sugg my best mate
Might do a prank or two 'cause they get more views
Or another Q&A, man that's all I do
Can't get girls, no I can't be cool
When I made a video of me eating poo
Goddamn, goddamn, goddamn
Seven foot tall but I'll never be a man
Skin so white lord knows I need a tan
Sick motherfucker I am
Yes, I am
Motherfucker, I'm ill
So pale I look ill
Josh Pieters is ill
Motherfucker, I'm ill (*coughing*)